How To Handle Difficult Conversations In The Workplace
There are lots of different types of difficult conversations in the workplace. Whether it be requesting something of your staff, advising others of changes, or conduction conversations about redundancy, poor performance or conflict – the list goes on.
What makes these conversations difficult? Not knowing what to say or how to say is a big barrier, and sometimes why they are avoided all together, regardless of the consequence to the business. The other reason is dealing with the emotions involved – and this isn’t always the fear of the emotions from the individual needing to have the conversation with, but also your own emotions of having to have the conversations in the first place.
You can plan what you have to say to ensure success (and compliance). At times it is best to check with those that know and understand about these workplace matters such as; change, emotions, behaviour, conflict and industrial relations matters. This will ensure that everything that should be covered and needs to be covered and discussed to get the best outcome is covered. When planning, it helps to put yourself in the shoes of the person delivering the message to, to be able to guide you in the language used during the conversation. This also helps if you know them well, as we would expect people managers to know their people as this is how you can also get the most out of them.
Regarding your emotions, just acknowledge them… after all, you’re only human! If you have negative emotions, then you will need to hide them to some degree, but maybe channel them towards resolving the situation rather than avoiding it, which only worsens the situation and your emotions. If you feel empathetic for those you need to speak with, then that will work for you; it’s good to show compassion and empathy in the workplace. You also need to stick to the facts! If the business needs to change and the role is redundant, or they are not performing, then emotions aren’t part of the decision. If, however, you are concerned about the emotions of the individual, then the planning helps with that as does sticking to the facts and being compassionate however assertive. Use facts instead of judgement, don’t exaggerate and don’t forget to prepare.
Some other useful tips are to think of it as a normal conversation rather than labelling it as a difficult conversation, remain calm and professional, don’t hurry through the conversation, make sure you give the individual an opportunity to respond, contribute or ask questions (this is sometimes a requirement depending on the situation however makes good business sense) and really listen to what they say.
Don’t be scared, don’t be scared of being assertive, and don’t feel scared to seek some advice, you might just find that it is all easier than what you think and/or fear.
At HR Business Direction we can assist with these difficult conversations, with planning and advising, guide or having the conversations with you or for you. Contact us here.
Leisa Messer BBus(HRM); GradDipIR; FAHRI; IRSQ
Managing Director | HR Strategist
07 3890 2066